I Translated All the Court Officials’ Memes into Classical Chinese

Shen Wan, the most proper young lady in Shengjing, has lately begun to think the world has gone mad. The Grand Secretary shouts “Thanks!” in court every day, the Crown Prince keeps saying “For real?” and even her most refined elder sister has started going on about how “amazing” everything is. Luckily, she finds a magical earring that automatically translates all this “nonsense” into elegant classical language. “Thanks!” becomes “I would gladly give my all and lay down my life,” while “For real?” becomes “Is this true? I am greatly comforted.” So, faced with a crowd of transmigrators acting crazy every day, Shen Wan, eyes red with tears, imagines one tragic tale after another of people enduring hardship and humiliation. She not only plays along with them tearfully, but often offers them the warmth of a native. At last, one day, the entire court realizes that this stunning young lady, a native through and through, is not only an exceptionally kind person, but can also come up with perfect explanations for all their ridiculous antics! “She understands us so well! Quick, spoil her rotten!” As everyone zealously showers her with affection, Shen Wan trembles: You powerful people, burdened by national grudges and family feuds, why are you giving me a pile of hidden weapons called “milk tea”?