Shura Field+Funny+Alas, the introduction is useless
At first, something went wrong in Qin Xiu's practice, and his senior sister kindly came to help "check his body."
Early the next morning, the junior sister came to question him.
"Senior sister is checking your body. Do you need to use your mouth?"
"What I did was... Cupping."
"Can cupping remove tooth marks? Do you think I'm a three-year-old?"
"It's just to dredge the meridians, it's purely a medical practice."
"Then let me unblock it and see how long you can endure it."
Reader comments
This is definitely the most delicate and sincere romance novel about immortality that I have ever read. The author is obviously a novice and doesn't control the rhythm very well. It doesn't affect the look and feel at the moment, but you need to pay attention to it later.
The description of the big devil is too hasty. Later, you can try to change the perspective to complete the details and psychological state. I recommend Da Ai Xianzun here.
You can learn the heroine's language "After losing all her cultivation, she was found by them." The protagonist is called Yan Quan
Come on, author-chan!
I feel that the plot of Xiaolu is a bit stiff. The author's greatest strength lies in the clear and smooth writing style. This is actually something that many tomato novel authors lack. However, judging from the plot arrangement and rhythm, he is still a novice.
You can change the narrative style, such as "Tang Xiaotang feels very happy today, because senior brother did such and such again today"
After reading the latest chapter, I think the world view of this book is still lacking. I can add a sentence at the beginning from time to time, what is a secular dynasty? And what about the current emperor? What stories did Qin Xiu have with his senior sister in the sect before? You can read the appreciation at the beginning of Dream of Red Mansions; the Jia family is described from the perspective of a little person. Every time it is about to be touched by the reader, it is pulled away from the distance, and then pulled away from the far to the near again. This kind of foreshadowing can make the novel fuller.
Now the author gives people the feeling that the plot is running ahead and the rhythm is chasing behind. You should think about the development of the plot after the game in time, otherwise it will cause the old problem of slow rhythm if it is delayed for a long time.
The early chapters felt like I was playing some kind of word game, which was quite novel to me, but this kind of novel usually doesn't last long, and I don't know when it will be cut in half.
I'm just a little afraid of being blocked.
Is it too obscure?
Except for the opening chapter, which is a bit lengthy, the follow-up is very solid. It's all a genius, but it's brainless and very enjoyable. The male protagonist is almost a gentle succubus.
A divine book written by a man of God, this is the one that can hold up [Like]
Of course, it's definitely worth five stars of grass jelly! More, more, more! Good-looking, love to watch [love]
This is definitely the most delicate and sincere romance novel about immortality that I have ever read. The author is obviously a novice and doesn't control the rhythm very well. It doesn't affect the look and feel at the moment, but you need to pay attention to it later. The description of the big devil is too hasty. Later, you can try to change the perspective to complete the details and psychological state. I recommend Da Ai Xianzun here. You can learn the heroine's language "After losing all her cultivation, she was found by them." The protagonist is called Yan Quan Come on, author-chan! I feel that the plot of Xiaolu is a bit stiff. The author's greatest strength lies in the clear and smooth writing style. This is actually something that many tomato novel authors lack. However, judging from the plot arrangement and rhythm, he is still a novice. You can change the narrative style, such as "Tang Xiaotang feels very happy today, because senior brother did such and such again today" After reading the latest chapter, I think the world view of this book is still lacking. I can add a sentence at the beginning from time to time, what is a secular dynasty? And what about the current emperor? What stories did Qin Xiu have with his senior sister in the sect before? You can read the appreciation at the beginning of Dream of Red Mansions; the Jia family is described from the perspective of a little person. Every time it is about to be touched by the reader, it is pulled away from the distance, and then pulled away from the far to the near again. This kind of foreshadowing can make the novel fuller. Now the author gives people the feeling that the plot is running ahead and the rhythm is chasing behind. You should think about the development of the plot after the game in time, otherwise it will cause the old problem of slow rhythm if it is delayed for a long time.
The early chapters felt like I was playing some kind of word game, which was quite novel to me, but this kind of novel usually doesn't last long, and I don't know when it will be cut in half.
I'm just a little afraid of being blocked.
Is it too obscure?
Except for the opening chapter, which is a bit lengthy, the follow-up is very solid. It's all a genius, but it's brainless and very enjoyable. The male protagonist is almost a gentle succubus.
A divine book written by a man of God, this is the one that can hold up [Like] Of course, it's definitely worth five stars of grass jelly! More, more, more! Good-looking, love to watch [love]