The Zeigarnik Effect

Ling Lin has lost count of how many times she has dreamed of that boy.

Some psychologists call this phenomenon the “Zeigarnik effect”: people remember unfinished things without clear endings more vividly than those that reach a satisfying conclusion. The subconscious keeps dwelling on them, hoping for a chance to close the loop.

Just like her and Jiang Xing, whose story came to an abrupt end in the height of summer when they were seventeen, without even a proper goodbye.

Later, her tastes changed because of him. She would sit in front of the TV to watch the World Cup, held once every four years, and whenever she passed one of countless outdoor soccer fields, she would instinctively stop, gaze sweeping over the running boys as she fruitlessly searched for the figure in the number 4 jersey, his bangs damp with sweat, smiling at her with carefree confidence.

The cruelest part of the Zeigarnik effect has never been the longing. It’s knowing that the loop can never be closed, yet still being unable to stop spending a lifetime waiting for someone who will never come back.