I Thought I Was Loved?

On the second day of the new year, I met a boy at my cousin's house. He was standing under the wintersweet tree, wearing a white down jacket, his eyes were wrong - he was too focused, as if he was looking at me, or someone who had been waiting for a long time. I was so flustered by him that I called him into the yard and slapped him twice: "You're a man, can't you take the initiative?" He covered his face, but his eyes lit up: "Don't you have a partner?" "Having a partner doesn't affect the breakup." Later we secretly fell in love. He remembers every word I say casually, brings me chestnuts on snowy days, makes ginger tea for me during my period, and replies to my messages at three o'clock in the morning. He's too good to be true. I thought I was finally loved. Until late that night, when I was half asleep and half awake, I heard him talking in his sleep: "Stay... Stay with me... Don't leave... Data... Stable..." —— Later I woke up from the dream. I discovered that even his name was code. [That winter, I had a long dream. There was a boy in the dream, his eyes were not right, he looked at me as if he had been looking at me for a long, long time.