Naruto: Without a Golden Finger, I Meditate on Houtu, the Ancestral Witch

[Synopsis]

He transmigrates into Hokage. Other transmigrators get a System, a golden finger, or an old master. What does he get?

Jack squat!

His parents are a double-agent pair from Iwagakure and Kirigakure. They faked their deaths to escape and left him an orphan in Konoha, with nothing but a box of Earth Release scrolls and a head full of Deidara-style chuunibyou about how “Art is an Explosion.”

No Fire Release? Can't learn Explosion Release?

No problem. One part saltpeter, two parts sulfur, three parts charcoal: let's make some black powder!

Too little chakra to practice senjutsu?

No problem. Visualize the ancestral shaman Houtu and max out your spiritual power!

And so Konoha gains a troublemaking demon who gives the entire ninja world a headache:

Blowing up the septic tank is just another day at the office.

Tricking the Third Hokage is a basic skill.

Trading insults with Tsunade is dessert after dinner.

Convincing Nawaki to become his errand boy is just brotherly love.

While everyone else is still memorizing the “three properties of chakra” at the Ninja Academy,

he's already using his spiritual sense to cover all of Konoha and spy... no, monitor enemy activity.

While everyone else is still practicing tree climbing and water walking,

he's already combined Sealing Jutsu with explosives to create precision-guided missiles.

Tsunade: “You little brat, you've been hiding your true abilities!”

Shitou: “Of course. I'm the man who's going to marry you, after all.”

Tsunade: “Who said I'd marry you?!”

Shitou: “It's fine. I don't mind that you're flat as a board.”

[Reader's Guide]

- The protagonist's morals are questionable, but he still has some lines he won't cross. He's foul-mouthed and ruthless, but loyal to those he cares about.

- Comedy comes first, fighting second. The heart of the story is their everyday banter.

- Tsunade is the planned heroine, but be warned: if these two add up to more than ten years old, I'll eat my hat.

- Art is... Patrick Star!