Cutting Ties with My Family from the Start, the Foolish Girl Slays Her Way Through with Billions in Supplies

I, Mo Wenlan, a modern-day wage slave, have transmigrated into the body of a twelve-year-old simpleton. Scene One: My wicked cousin pushes me off a cliff. I cling to his leg and wail, “Cousin bad! Mountain, fruit, pushed me, roll roll, hurt!” Result: My mother beats him senseless, then kicks him so hard she ruins his ability to father children. Everyone: “A simpleton is just simple, not a liar!” Scene Two: My awful grandmother tries to steal the meager food we got after splitting from the family. I cling to my mother’s leg and whimper, “Mother scared. Grandpa glare at Mother.” Result: The villagers shame Grandpa into agreeing to cut ties with us, and we’re finally free of our misery. Grandpa: (trembling with rage) That simpleton did that on purpose! Scene Three: My tough-as-nails maternal grandmother comes to stand up for us. I hide in her arms and giggle, “Grandma, beat bad people!” Result: Grandma’s fighting power skyrockets. She beats the whole awful family black and blue, then extorts compensation for emotional distress. I’m just a twelve-year-old simpleton. What bad intentions could I possibly have? (snickers)