Page Four of the Heartless Sword Manual: Find a Wife

[Transmigrate into a book + cultivation + comedy + love rivalry + one woman with multiple men] Where’s the System? Where’s the golden finger? Where’s the old man in a ring? None of them! I’ve only got a face so devastatingly handsome it could make the heavens weep, and a mouth that never stops running. I’m Li Jingyi, a former professional extra and now a well-connected nobody in the cultivation world. My job is to keep my four “investors” happy. Faced with my possessive master’s “extra training package,” I run and yell, “Master! A 996 work schedule is illegal! Even the cultivation world has to obey labor laws!” Faced with the gentle Demon Lord’s “deadly gift,” I bow politely. “Senior Brother, I appreciate the thought, but I’d like to keep my life. Next time, bring something practical, like spirit stones.” Faced with my aloof grandmaster’s “silent concern,” I speak up without fear. “Grandmaster, could you include an instruction manual next time you give me a magical treasure? How does this thing work, anyway?” Faced with the lovesick Demon Venerable’s “death threat,” I lie flat. “Fine, fine, it’s all yours. Put the knife down first, and let’s talk about compensation for emotional distress.” I thought I was the one trying to win them over. Then I found out I was the one being pursued. They abandoned the Dao for me, became demons for me, and defied Heaven for me. In the end, at the mahjong table, I pushed over the tiles in front of me and said coolly: “Mahjong! From now on, I’m in charge of this household.” The four of them smiled. “Sure. Whatever the boss says.”