Marvel: Infinite Card Draws

After only two years in the Time Variance Authority, Luo Aimin runs into the second multiversal war.

To stay alive, he takes God of Stories Loki's advice and goes to Universe 959, Earth, where he takes on the identity of Captain America and forms the Avengers to stand against the Kang Dynasty.

He thought things would be disastrous from the start, but unexpectedly, he gets a card-drawing System!

[Ability Card: Deadpool's Dance. Silences and disarms enemies.]

[Material Card: Wolverine's skullcap. Can be used to make a ritual artifact, an Adamantium kapala.]

[Character Card: Ghost Rider. Unlocks the flaming skull skin and Hellfire.]

[Item Card: Darkhold, a little spellbook, complete with Chthon's autograph.]

[Waifu Card: Magik. Summons the superhero [Magik]. While summoned, she will agree to any request you make.]

Years later...

Mephisto roars in outrage: “Can you give me back my living weapon?!”

The three leaders of the Council of Kangs stare at a lineup of superheroes including [Phoenix Force: Captain America], [Celestials Armor: Iron Man], [Time Stone: Thor], [Mind Stone: Hulk], [Gravitonium: Black Widow], and [All-Black the Necrosword: Hawkeye], and fall into deep thought, wondering if they chose the wrong difficulty setting.

During his interrogation, Doctor Doom weeps and cries, “Three blows scatter the Divine Lord's soul! Officer, I'm an Earthling!”

Thor: “ICE arrested me! Get Luo Aimin here to bail me out!”