My name is Cui Xiaole. I work the night shift at a funeral home in Northeast China, earning 20,000 yuan a month.
On my very first day, the body in the freezer sat up and started chatting with me.
I'm not crazy. I was just forced to become a spirit medium, but none of the spirits I summon are any good: a squirrel spirit afraid of death, a hedgehog spirit covered in spines, and a rat spirit who only likes peanuts.
Then, just as a hundred-year-old mirror spirit was strangling me to death, I shut my eyes, shook my drum, and yelled, “Help! Is there a god online?!”
A beam of golden light crashed down, and Nezha's apparition appeared with a spicy snack stick in his mouth. “What's all the noise? I charge by the call, and my minimum is a hundred packs. Extra spicy.”
I was completely dumbfounded.
Even more bewildering, my accidentally acquired “Shadow Mirror” constitution made me a hot commodity among the powerful beings of the Three Realms.
Evil cultivators want to use me as a key to open the ghost market, and a female ghost sings lullabies in my dreams every night.
Now all the monsters and demons in Northeast China know:
There's a coward named Cui at the funeral home, and all he can do in a fight is call for backup.
And every one of the people he calls is more difficult to deal with than the last.
But after I inherited the Human Emperor's legacy, every god and Buddha in the heavens fought for the chance to become a lackey in my spirit medium's retinue!
I'm thinking, I just read the introduction to see Nezha's group of gods and ghosts playing with each other.