Showbiz: I Called Dilraba My Wife from the Start, and Now I Can't Show My Face

I Called Reba “Wife” from the Start, and Became Her Personal Walking Disaster of an Assistant

Who else gets it, folks? I transmigrated into an entertainment-industry intern and, from the start, crashed into Dilraba Dilmurat's grilled sausage at a wrap party, then accidentally called her “wife”!

I was so mortified I wanted to transmigrate right back where I came from. Then I got bound to some lousy System that promised to help me and Reba breeze through life, on one condition: every time I do something for her, I have to humiliate myself!

And so began the most pathetic fanboy journey in the history of Chinese entertainment:

I tried to help her land the role of Feng Jiu, but dumped two servings of spicy rice noodles on the director. The whole cast watched me die of embarrassment.

I tried to shield her from bad publicity, but tripped over a paparazzo and fell into a mud pit. I even got a trending hashtag: #Dilraba's Assistant Dances in a Mud Pit#.

I tried to help her land a variety-show deal, but accidentally projected The Complete Plan to Spoil My Wife onto the entire conference room screen. The production crew lost their minds shipping us.

When she won at the Golden Eagle Awards, I got so excited I shouted, “My wife's amazing!” It was broadcast live nationwide, and now the whole internet knows I've been her fan for ten years!

Other agents: secure connections, make big money, live the high life.

Me as an agent: humiliation, humiliation, and more damn humiliation!

The whole internet laughs at me for being the biggest walking disaster of an assistant in Chinese entertainment. Only Reba knows that this hapless guy, who humiliates himself every day, has shielded her from every terrible script, smear campaign, online attack, and industry quid pro quo, staying by her side from obscurity all the way to the bright lights.

Later, I successfully propose and turn my idol into my wife.

System: Debuff removed. Congratulations, Host, on completing the mission!

Me: Wait, no! Without embarrassing myself, I don't even know how to date!

[Laugh-out-loud comedy all the way through, with zero angst! Sweet enough to give you a toothache! See how a ten-year fan wins Dilraba Dilmurat back with one mortifying mishap after another!]