I’m Lin Shou, the cultivation world’s biggest good-for-nothing. My main job is watering spirit fields, and my side gig is serving as a human punching bag for my senior brothers.
That is, until I found a talking, broken turtle shell in the back mountain.
It said it was the Hongmeng Fortune Turtle, knowing destiny above and the Eight Trigrams below, and insisted on making me its master.
Me: “Send me fifty years of cultivation first, and let’s see what you can do.”
The next day, the water I poured brought dead trees back to life, and the senior brother who used to beat me fell into a cesspit while walking.
The turtle shell whistled in my head. “Kid, believe me now? This great master can help you lie around until they start demolishing the Immortal Realm!”
I carried the turtle shell straight to the sect leader’s hall. “Master! I want to learn the most expensive cultivation technique and charm the prettiest senior sister!”
Later, I became the cultivation world’s most widely recognized “chosen slacker,” using the turtle shell to foresee danger, scoop up abandoned divine artifacts, and coast to victory in every major secret realm.
Then, on the day of the immortal-demon war, I was using the turtle shell as a rain shield when the Demon Venerable suddenly pointed at me and screamed:
“That turtle shell! It’s my father, who’s been missing for a hundred thousand years!”
The turtle shell slowly turned over. “Son, your dad found himself a good boss. And now, he’s under my protection.”
