White Impermanence's Second Aunt Has Her Eye on Me, and I Awakened a Superpower

Never relieve yourself just anywhere in the middle of the night. I’ve learned this the hard way One pee, and I offend Black Impermanence’s second aunt; One sentence, and I’m cursed with a hemorrhoid of merit; These hands can grab the weak spot of anything! The bolder the people, the greater the harvest; the bigger the hemorrhoids, the bigger the underwear! Forced to become a go-between for the living and the dead, I slack off at Bureau 749 by day to get a government job, then work for the Underworld at night to earn merit! A haunted house? One grab at its weak spot and everything falls in line! Famous historical figures’ ghosts causing trouble? I’ll put every one of them in their place! A beautiful second aunt has my back, a little-girl girlfriend protects me, and a catfish spirit underling acts cute! From unemployed good-for-nothing to guardian of the city’s balance between yin and yang, my life is absurd and ridiculously satisfying! No protagonist abuse, no horror, just pure comedy. Read it and all your stress will disappear!