The Neighborhood Calls Me a Freeloader, the Dark Web Calls Me a Tyrant!

My wife thinks I'm a good-for-nothing. After all, I married into her family in this dump of a neighborhood in Kowloon City, and every day I carry a pink pig shopping bag to buy groceries while the neighborhood aunties point at me and call me a "kept man."

My wife is even worse. Wearing a floral apron and wielding a cleaver, she'll argue with a vendor until the table gets knocked over just to save twenty cents on scallions.

She can't even "figure out" a smartphone, and she complains every day that I'm useless.

But she doesn't know her husband is the international arms-dealing tycoon "Tyrant," with a one-billion-dollar bounty on his head on the dark web.

And I don't know my wife is "Zero," the dark web's number-one hacker, listed by the Pentagon as an SSS-level threat.

That is, until the day the world's top mercenary groups surround our rental home.

I sigh, flip open my modified grocery cart, and get ready to pull out the six-barreled minigun underneath.

Then I see it:

My wife, who can barely work a calculator, grabs the old cash register calculator on the table and taps away at it.

The armed drones overhead suddenly turn their guns around and start slaughtering one another.

I don't know whether to raise the minigun in my hands or put it down.

Honey. You call this "just doing the books"?