Ruling the Realm with a Milk Bottle in Hand, I Bring the Entire Court to Its Knees

[A brutal, bloodthirsty tyrant father versus an adorable baby who blurts out her thoughts while spitting up] The moment Lu Yaoyao opens her eyes, she finds herself transmigrated into the body of a month-old princess, destined to be sacrificed to the heavens when her nation falls. At the critical moment, she awakens the [God-Tier Everything-Gossip Inner Voice System]! As long as she rants and spills secrets in her mind, she can gain incredible national fortune, and everyone in court can hear her thoughts loud and clear! With her whole family facing certain death and the foolish emperor about to toss her into a pot to make soup, she starts unleashing scathing commentary while blowing milk bubbles! In the original story, her tyrant father was torn apart by five horses, her four villainous imperial brothers were burned alive, and not even a dog survived. Lu Yaoyao doesn’t want to be boiled into soup, so she lies in her swaddling clothes every day, frantically trying to save herself. The tyrant father gives power to treacherous officials? [You silly old dad, run! The chancellor is rebelling tomorrow, and he’s emptied your treasury down to the last coin!] The tyrant father draws his sword on the spot and wipes out the chancellor’s entire clan overnight! The God of War imperial brother wants to save his beloved? [You idiot, don’t go! The beloved you’re trying to save is a eunuch from an enemy nation pretending to be a woman!] The God of War brother tears up the marriage contract and chops his beloved into mincemeat! The tyrant father complains that the treasury is empty and he has no money for war? [Go dig up the Minister of Revenue’s ancestral tomb! There are eighty million taels of gold inside, enough to blind you!] The officials dig up the grave overnight, and the treasury is instantly filled with mountains of gold! Later, the story goes off the rails and enemy troops close in. Lu Yaoyao is getting ready to pack up her formula and flee. But then her cold-blooded tyrant father unifies the world and carries the throne right in front of her. The entire court drops to its knees and kowtows: “We beg our little ancestor to ascend the throne!”