Treating Journey to the West Like a Business War, the Jade Emperor Finally Got It

[Journey to the West] [Brainstorming] [Workplace] [Lighthearted Comedy] [Misunderstandings]

Su Chen transmigrates to Chang’an in the Tang dynasty, opens a shabby tea stall, and binds himself to the “Myriad Heavens Master Bluffer System.”

To sell tea for five cash a bowl every day, he keeps telling his customers conspiracy theories about Journey to the West.

“That monkey’s havoc in Heaven? Just the higher-ups trying to scam more stability-maintenance funding!”

The Buddhist pilgrimage? “That’s a hostile cross-border acquisition by a financial conglomerate, trying to go public through a backdoor listing!”

Sha Wujing getting demoted? “Classic workplace PUA. Honest workers should take their cases to labor arbitration!”

Then one day, “Boss Huang,” a regular at his stall, grabs him and asks feverishly, “Sir, if a rival company sends executive Guanyin to poach our people, how do we counter it?”

Su Chen answers offhandedly, “Issue a Heavenly Court employment contract, give the monkey full benefits, and turn the tables by dangling a big carrot!”

Later, Sun Wukong takes the employment contract to Tathagata and demands compensation for emotional distress. The Black Bear Spirit becomes director of the Heavenly Court’s tax bureau. Guanyin is so enraged by an investigation into her illegal construction that she spits blood…

Su Chen looks at the “glass marble (Creation Jade Disk)” Boss Huang gave him and sighs. “The drifters in Chang’an are so stingy with their gifts.”

The Jade Emperor and Lao Jun tremble in hiding. “The Imperial Preceptor is hinting that the Heavenly Court is about to go bankrupt again. Hurry, strip Spirit Mountain of everything it has!”