My name is Zhou Xiaopang, from Yingde City, Guangdong Province. I was born in 1986 and I am forty years old this year.
I am not a writer, I am a man who has lived for forty years and lived his life to pieces.
I dropped out of school, mixed up in society, found a side job, went to jail, had an affair, and got divorced. My ex-wife died with hatred, and I didn't even see her for the last time. I have four children, who have been suffering from hardships and cannot hold their heads up. My second wife has been with me for eight years and has never enjoyed a single day of happiness. She pays off my debts every day. I am in pain and debt, and have been abandoned by everyone. I have become a negative example for the whole village, my whole family, and all my relatives and friends.
In this world, some people live as light, while I live as shit.
Everyone says that I can't hold up the wall with mud, and I admit it.
I feel sorry for my parents, my two wives, my four children, and everyone who has ever given me a hand.
When I was forty years old, I was so poor that I didn't even have money for drinks. I drank the cheapest bulk rice wine in a leaky rental house in Yingde City Village. I was so drunk that I fell unconscious and had a dream that lasted half my life. In the dream, I returned to the junior high school classroom where I was thirteen years old, and lived again with all the regrets in my life.
I study, correct mistakes, repay kindness, guard my family, follow the right path, and serve the country.
That dream was so real, so warm, and so inspiring.
When I woke up, there were still leaking roofs, debt collection calls, ailing bodies, and days of despair.
I wrote down this dream, along with my real and bloody life, word for word.
There is no cool text, no filters, and no whitewashing. A warning earned with one's life:
The right path in the world is subject to vicissitudes of life. One wrong step can ruin a life.
