I Mistook the Jade Emperor for My Dad, and My Wife Is the Three Holy Mothers?

After transmigrating into the chaotic world of Journey to the West, I mistakenly called the Jade Emperor my real father in front of my mother’s grave. I thought I’d be struck dead by heavenly lightning, but to my surprise, he trembled with excitement and accepted the identity on the spot. To protect me, his “illegitimate son,” my dad promptly assigned Zi’er, the aloof and holy Seventh Fairy, to be my personal maid. As an ordinary mortal with no cultivation whatsoever, I could only reluctantly enjoy the decadent life of a rich second-generation heir. Think fairy dresses are too thick to work in? I tailored her a high-slit qipao myself. When I measured her, I gave her a gentle head pat, and the pure-hearted fairy blushed so hard she broke through to the Great Encompassing Golden Immortal realm on the spot. A cool, mature beauty named Yang Chan moves in next door? I bring her a cream cake and casually teach her yoga. With her curves on full display, she fights fiercely for my attention so I’ll “correct her poses.” I feed nine-thousand-year peaches to pigs, use Nine Heavens Breathing Earth as cat litter, and casually toss a brick, the Chaos Divine Stone, to blast a Buddhist guardian into oblivion. Then one day, the Tathagata comes storming to my doorstep. Annoyed by the noise, I casually set off a celebratory cannon, and somehow blast him straight into reincarnation. I stare at my dad, dumbfounded. “Dad, your fireworks smuggling business is doing pretty well, huh?”