On Valentine's Day in 2025, in Joy City, Chaoyang, Beijing, the flower shop owner closed the door early, and there was a long queue at the gold shop next door.
This year, "520" encountered a cold spell for the first time, and the "dog-licking economy" declared its ebb. Gold sales soared 134%, and WeChat red envelopes became the most popular gift. Young people no longer pay for the "sense of ritual". What do they want?
With this question in mind, I interviewed 100 young people who are not in love.
Some of them said "no time for love" while doing 996, some used Excel sheets to record 48 failed blind dates, some chatted with AI lovers for 3 hours a day but haven't dated a real person in three years, some waited for ten years and finally broke up because of "when to have children", some grew up watching their parents fighting and no longer believe in marriage, and some worked hard to get better just to "not give in."
This is not an academic work, but an emotional medical record of contemporary Chinese people.
100 People, 100 stories, 100 reasons not to fall in love. But behind every reason, there is a heart longing to be loved.
"What's wrong with our generation?"
After reading this book, you will see yourself.
Reader comments
I spent two days reading this book and wanted to express my own opinions.
First of all, the title of this book is very directional, so it is also very one-sided. It is aimed at those people who are unwilling to fall in love, and essentially are unwilling to establish an intimate relationship with the opposite sex. These people either have high emotional requirements and feel that they or others must be good enough to be worthy of me. This is essentially due to perfectionism, or they have experienced an unhealthy relationship and suffered some damage that is not easy to repair for themselves, or they have suffered injuries that are not easy to repair. Forced by the material economic foundation, after all, in today's extremely economically developed society, the sense of security brought by bread and milk is far greater than the illusion of promises and affection, or there may be defects in the character, which makes one dare not step out of his comfort zone and dare not change...
At first, after reading the first half of the book, I always felt that it was spreading anxiety and negative energy. However, this view gradually disappeared in the later chapters, because the author recorded that these people had made some improvements or progress due to certain opportunities, and were slowly getting better, which provided readers with some ideas for reference.
My original purpose of reading this book was to determine whether I was among the hundred people, but I didn't seem to see my shadow now. Maybe more than ten years later, I will be one of those hundred people. But the situation of one hundred people has really increased my knowledge.
Finally, I would like to give my own thoughts to the author. I think I would like to write an interview with a hundred people about their experiences or things they have learned from love, or the progress they have made, or the changes they have made. In other words, it would be more meaningful to write about the changes in attitude or lifestyle gained from intimate relationships.
(I am in my third year of college and have not yet entered the society. I have limited knowledge and may have immature opinions. I express them based on my feelings and are for reference only)
This is a book with a very social science aspect. It is very good. When I first read the first few chapters, I was a little anxious and afraid that I would not be able to fall in love due to various reasons when I entered the society. (I am currently a sophomore, and I have not been in love once in the past 19 years. After I entered college, I thought I would be able to do it easily. I fell in love, but later I discovered that love is really a science, how to establish a relationship with the opposite sex, how to deal with deep intimacy issues, etc... So I accidentally opened this book during the summer vacation of my freshman year), but no matter what, live the present well, and I try not to think too far about the future.
This book writes down some subjective and objective factors for young people who are single today. It can help young people see themselves more clearly. Everyone longs for love. Not getting married, having children or falling in love cannot solve the fundamental problem. You still need to sort yourself out, love yourself bravely, and love others bravely.
I think it's very interesting. It summarizes some types of young people who don't fall in love nowadays, such as survivors, idealists, victims, substitutes... Classification analysis, some words are also very reasonable haha, I haven't finished reading it yet, but I think it's good! It is short, concise and concise with some thoughts, making it easier to read in fragmented time.
The author summarizes the reasons and personal experiences of 100 people who don't fall in love. 100 People, 100 kinds of life, but everyone wants to be loved. Like the one who is in love with AI, there are many hookers. Everyone wants to be loved, but they don't want to make do with it. This is not an escape, but a responsibility for oneself.
I have read about half of it. It is a very valuable book. The interviewer has made a great contribution to society. The article gives specific and vivid answers to the problems of unmarriage and high divorce rate. I can more or less resonate with many of the cases in the article. Love problems are everywhere due to the lack of values in today's society and problems in the original family!
Real interview, today's young people are not thinking like our generation.
The truth is, I am in a similar situation to these young people when I am divorced.
I also want to know how those who are able to fall in love and get married do it.
I have recorded earlier that when I drank, I started to become idealistic. Maybe I was too numb~ In fact, whether I was single or in debt, I felt very confused and anxious.
Really, the connection between emotions and material things in this era has defeated too much sincerity.
Real life (seeing while walking) Ideal future (thinking while walking)
No one should be careful when walking! Don't make a mistake in one step! Ask for it but get it! Gain and lose again!
Where is so much perfection! Is a little regret better than no regrets? Maybe it won't be over until the end! Only then will it become clear!
The author is thoughtful and records every single person's way of thinking in detail.
I just graduated from college and it seems like I have no hope ヽ(*ﾟｰﾟ*)ﾉ
It's pretty, and it's real.
This is a common phenomenon at present
I quarreled with my partner every day. After reading this book, I started to think deeply about it.
My son is a sophomore in high school and also said he is single. I don't want to be so tired [face covering]
Through this book, I realized why people born in 2000 don't get married.
Be patient and listen to it, it will be interesting
Some parts feel like they were written by AI after reading them, but the content is okay, pretty good, you can read it to pass the time.
The author is good at discovery and summary. This is a must-read book for young people.
It's good-looking, and it vividly shows the reasons and helplessness of contemporary young people who don't want to get married regardless of their partners.
I spent two days reading this book and wanted to express my own opinions. First of all, the title of this book is very directional, so it is also very one-sided. It is aimed at those people who are unwilling to fall in love, and essentially are unwilling to establish an intimate relationship with the opposite sex. These people either have high emotional requirements and feel that they or others must be good enough to be worthy of me. This is essentially due to perfectionism, or they have experienced an unhealthy relationship and suffered some damage that is not easy to repair for themselves, or they have suffered injuries that are not easy to repair. Forced by the material economic foundation, after all, in today's extremely economically developed society, the sense of security brought by bread and milk is far greater than the illusion of promises and affection, or there may be defects in the character, which makes one dare not step out of his comfort zone and dare not change... At first, after reading the first half of the book, I always felt that it was spreading anxiety and negative energy. However, this view gradually disappeared in the later chapters, because the author recorded that these people had made some improvements or progress due to certain opportunities, and were slowly getting better, which provided readers with some ideas for reference. My original purpose of reading this book was to determine whether I was among the hundred people, but I didn't seem to see my shadow now. Maybe more than ten years later, I will be one of those hundred people. But the situation of one hundred people has really increased my knowledge. Finally, I would like to give my own thoughts to the author. I think I would like to write an interview with a hundred people about their experiences or things they have learned from love, or the progress they have made, or the changes they have made. In other words, it would be more meaningful to write about the changes in attitude or lifestyle gained from intimate relationships. (I am in my third year of college and have not yet entered the society. I have limited knowledge and may have immature opinions. I express them based on my feelings and are for reference only)
This is a book with a very social science aspect. It is very good. When I first read the first few chapters, I was a little anxious and afraid that I would not be able to fall in love due to various reasons when I entered the society. (I am currently a sophomore, and I have not been in love once in the past 19 years. After I entered college, I thought I would be able to do it easily. I fell in love, but later I discovered that love is really a science, how to establish a relationship with the opposite sex, how to deal with deep intimacy issues, etc... So I accidentally opened this book during the summer vacation of my freshman year), but no matter what, live the present well, and I try not to think too far about the future.
This book writes down some subjective and objective factors for young people who are single today. It can help young people see themselves more clearly. Everyone longs for love. Not getting married, having children or falling in love cannot solve the fundamental problem. You still need to sort yourself out, love yourself bravely, and love others bravely.
I think it's very interesting. It summarizes some types of young people who don't fall in love nowadays, such as survivors, idealists, victims, substitutes... Classification analysis, some words are also very reasonable haha, I haven't finished reading it yet, but I think it's good! It is short, concise and concise with some thoughts, making it easier to read in fragmented time.
The author summarizes the reasons and personal experiences of 100 people who don't fall in love. 100 People, 100 kinds of life, but everyone wants to be loved. Like the one who is in love with AI, there are many hookers. Everyone wants to be loved, but they don't want to make do with it. This is not an escape, but a responsibility for oneself.
I have read about half of it. It is a very valuable book. The interviewer has made a great contribution to society. The article gives specific and vivid answers to the problems of unmarriage and high divorce rate. I can more or less resonate with many of the cases in the article. Love problems are everywhere due to the lack of values in today's society and problems in the original family!
Real interview, today's young people are not thinking like our generation.
The truth is, I am in a similar situation to these young people when I am divorced.
I also want to know how those who are able to fall in love and get married do it.
I have recorded earlier that when I drank, I started to become idealistic. Maybe I was too numb~ In fact, whether I was single or in debt, I felt very confused and anxious.
Really, the connection between emotions and material things in this era has defeated too much sincerity.
Real life (seeing while walking) Ideal future (thinking while walking) No one should be careful when walking! Don't make a mistake in one step! Ask for it but get it! Gain and lose again! Where is so much perfection! Is a little regret better than no regrets? Maybe it won't be over until the end! Only then will it become clear!
The author is thoughtful and records every single person's way of thinking in detail.
I just graduated from college and it seems like I have no hope ヽ(*ﾟｰﾟ*)ﾉ
It's pretty, and it's real.
This is a common phenomenon at present
I quarreled with my partner every day. After reading this book, I started to think deeply about it.
My son is a sophomore in high school and also said he is single. I don't want to be so tired [face covering]
Through this book, I realized why people born in 2000 don't get married.
Be patient and listen to it, it will be interesting
Some parts feel like they were written by AI after reading them, but the content is okay, pretty good, you can read it to pass the time.
The author is good at discovery and summary. This is a must-read book for young people.
It's good-looking, and it vividly shows the reasons and helplessness of contemporary young people who don't want to get married regardless of their partners.