I Haven't Lived the Life I Wanted for Half My Life.

In the blink of an eye, half a life has passed. I (Lin Guilan) stood in front of the familiar beauty bed, with the warmth of essential oil still on my fingertips. But looking back at where I came from, I was shocked to realize that I had already deviated from the track I had longed for when I was young, and lived a life that was unfamiliar even to me. I am born in the 1980s who came from the mountains. With a junior high school education and a tenacity that refused to admit defeat, I plunged into the neon lights of Hangzhou. From the hustle and bustle of a beautician apprentice to the calmness and skill of a senior beautician, in the past twenty years, I have moved between beauty beds and used my hands to soothe the fatigue and anxiety of countless people, but I have never been able to live the life I want. That man (Wang Hao) who handed out leaflets at the door of the beauty shop and was so sweet that he could make me soften my heart, became my lifelong support and also became my tie for half my life. He was warm-hearted but lacked ambition, and spent his whole life working odd jobs. After all, the burden of the family still fell on my shoulders alone. The determination to "get ahead" when I was young gradually faded in the triviality of daily necessities; those burning yearnings for life in the big city were worn into dull fireworks in the day-to-day running around. I followed the rules in the life I "should" have - getting married, having children, raising a family, but I lost the part of myself I "wanted". This book is a tender review of my twenty-year beauty career and a profound analysis of my half-life regrets. This letter is written to every ordinary person who is struggling in reality and looking for glimmers of light in confusion: We may not be able to live up to our ideals, but the road we have traveled through gritted teeth is still worthy of being seen and remembered.