Naruto: What Do You Mean I’m the Vermilion Bird Immortal?

[Naruto Fanfiction + Honkai Impact 3rd + Fu Hua + Tentatively No Female Lead] Sasuke is obsessed with being a Kamen Rider, shouting “Henshin!” all day long. Naruto has completely lost his rationality and spends every day figuring out how to make brute force work miracles. To chase after Sasuke, Sakura Haruno starts cosplaying as Yae Sakura and playing with a katana. Kakashi has abandoned Icha Icha Paradise and inherited the title of Konoha's White Fang, occasionally cracking deadpan jokes about Louis XVI. Tenten has stopped studying ninja tools and now spends all day tinkering with Gundam blueprints in the lab. After reading Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Rock Lee declares that the ninja world's weapons are boring, then shows off his Green Dragon Crescent Blade. Might Guy agrees and also swings a guandao to behead Hua Xiong. As for me, Fu Ming, a transmigrator from the 21st century and a Fu Hua fan who looks just like her, I only want to be an ordinary person who enjoys being absurd. And why can an ordinary person like me hold a Tailed Beast by the scruff and beat you up? Don't ask. What do you mean I can haul Kurama Yakumo out and turn her into the Disaster King? What do you mean I can enter Herrscher form? What do you mean I can fly the Hyperion to Akatsuki's doorstep and bring them some warmth? When did I become the Vermilion Bird Immortal? Whatever. I'll have some Chunbulao first. (Updates are very slow. If you're interested, please don't save this novel to read later, or it might die before you get to it.)