My name is Guang Tou Qiang. I'm a lumberjack and a third-rate inventor.
Then I accidentally blasted open a spiritual vein, and my neighbors started acting strange.
Cultivation Log, Day One:
Xiong Er stole the wrench I'd soaked in a spirit spring. Now it sparks every time he burps, and he insists he's mastered the Five Metals Devouring Path.
Cultivation Log, Day Seven:
Xiong Da declared that his tree hollow was “the number one blessed cave-heaven in Bear Ridge.” The entry fee is three jars of honey, and the place specializes in sleep-assisted enlightenment. Note: The force of his kicking in his sleep could kill a Foundation Establishment wild boar.
Cultivation Log, Day Thirty:
King Ji Ji demanded that I make him a “Crown of Stars.” Otherwise, he'd use his Monkey Hair Clone Technique to make ten thousand monkeys recite his coronation proclamation outside my door. Help.
Cultivation Log, Day One Hundred:
An army of cultivators from the outside world surrounded us, claiming they were going to exterminate us “mountain goblins and monsters.”
I looked around. To my left was a sleepy-eyed Xiong Da, invincible as long as his feet touched the ground. To my right was Xiong Er, trying to lick the other guy's flying sword like it was candy. Above me sat King Ji Ji on a homemade auspicious cloud, which was actually a ball of cotton candy.
I sighed and switched on the loudspeaker of my mech.
“Um... Demolition crew, right? Talk to my neighbors. Remember to bring enough honey and protection money.”
“And don't wake Xiong Da. He gets grumpy when he wakes up.”
