My name is Gu Pan, and I live in a little ravine beside Five-Finger Mountain.
The villagers say I know a thing or two, and they come to me whenever they need to pick an auspicious date for a wedding or funeral.
But what they don't know is this:
The koi in my pond is the Ancestral Dragon.
The old hen crowing in the chicken coop is a phoenix.
The yellow dog sleeping by the courtyard gate all day is Taotie.
As for the crow perched in the tree? It used to be called the Golden Crow. Now it's Little Black, because it was so noisy that I kicked it out three times.
I really can't remember who I am.
It's just that everything I do seems to come naturally:
I casually cook a pot of porridge, and people improve their cultivation.
I casually chop some firewood. Wait, why does this axe look so familiar?
This Lunar New Year, a young man with a vertical eye on his forehead wandered into my courtyard.
He said his name was Erlang Shen.
I took a liking to him, so I invited him to stay for a meal.
He took a liking to me, so he lent me his Three-Pointed Double-Edged Halberd to play with.
I swung it around a couple of times, and he froze on the spot, staring blankly.
His hair was a little long and got in the way while I was showing off my moves, so I casually shaved it for him.
Why did he run off when I was only halfway done?
Why was he in such a hurry to leave during the New Year?
Only later did I learn that Erlang Shen had grasped an unparalleled spear technique from watching me that day.
That was also the day thunder struck him, blasting the hair on both sides of his head straight up like fireworks.
After the strike, the Heavenly Dao muttered to itself:
“Getting a haircut in the first lunar month brings death to your maternal uncle. His uncle is the Jade Emperor, so this is heaven's punishment.”
“As for why I struck him? He came into my father's courtyard without greeting me. What's wrong with giving him a little shock?”
Later, the pilgrimage party passed through this mountain.
After that, the immortals of the Heavenly Court and Spirit Mountain started dropping by whenever they had a spare moment.
