NBA: You Asked Me to Play Basketball, So I Gave Kobe Cupping

Chen Fan transmigrates to 2014 and, to avoid inheriting his family's traditional Chinese medicine shop, resolutely decides to play in the NBA.

At the tryouts, while the other prospects warm up, he practices tai chi;

During a timeout, while the coach draws up a play, he takes his teammates' pulses;

In the locker room, while everyone else drinks Gatorade, he sips goji berry tea from a thermos.

The whole league laughs at him as an “old man's game,” convinced he can't handle the NBA's intensity.

Until one day...

When LeBron James charges in like a bulldozer, Chen Fan uses “four ounces to deflect a thousand pounds” and sends him stumbling to the floor;

Against Curry's absurdly accurate three-pointers, he uses his “meridian-blocking hand” to pick the ball clean, every steal deadly;

Then, in Game Seven of the NBA Finals, he actually sticks himself with two needles on the court, then drops 60 points!

The reporters go wild: “Chen, what exactly is your secret move?”

Chen Fan takes a sip of goji berry tea and calmly replies, “Nothing special. My kidney energy is strong and my back is in good shape, so the ball just goes in.”