The Son of Heaven lies flat and gives up, while the feudal lords go crazy online.
Put simply, the three centuries of Spring and Autumn history were one long game of ruthless competition, and everyone somehow turned it into a joke.
Duke Huan of Qi: A great hegemon who united the feudal lords nine times, only to starve himself into becoming the Spring and Autumn Period's first weight-loss champion in his old age.
Duke Wen of Jin: Exiled for nineteen years, this sixty-year-old finally turned his life around, only to retire as soon as he got the job. You just can't make this stuff up.
King Cheng of Chu: Spent his whole life chasing hegemony, and just when victory was in sight, his own son kicked him off the throne.
Duke Xiang of Song: Terrible at war but obsessed with it, he insisted on fighting honorably. His motto was, “I may have lost, but at least I played fair.”
And then there's the scheming Duke Zhuang of Zheng, the comeback king Zhuang of Chu, Wu Zixu, whose hair turned white overnight, and the ultimate couple, Xi Shi and Fan Li...
These ruthless characters teach us one thing: if you want to be a master strategist, be prepared to become a punchline first.
Open this book and laugh your way through the first three centuries of Chinese history. These hegemons were all kings of comedy.
