I Am the Han Dynasty's Tomb Keeper, and Even the Emperor Kneels Before Me

“Old Lu, I’m dying. You have to keep watch over this empire for me!” On his deathbed, Emperor Gaozu of Han, Liu Bang, dismissed everyone else and actually knelt before a young man barely in his twenties, kowtowing to him! Lu Changsheng, an immortal who has lived from the Qin Dynasty to the present day, is forced to become the Han Dynasty's “watchdog”? Lü Zhi wants to usurp the throne? Lu Changsheng responds with a hard slap: “Sister-in-law, don't make your greed so obvious!” The Rebellion of the Seven States breaks out? Lu Changsheng dumps a packet of croton seeds into the water supply. The 500,000 rebels end up squatting in the latrines until they're too weak to stand, and Zhou Yafu claims the credit and earns a marquisate! Emperor Wu of Han, Liu Che, wants to fight the Xiongnu but has no money? Lu Changsheng opens a tavern in the eastern market. While whittling wood, he teaches Liu Che how to monopolize salt and iron and implement the Decree of Favor. He even stuffs an assassin who tried to kill him into a manure cart and sends him back to the prince's residence by express delivery! “I'm just a wine seller. I don't like meddling in other people's business, but if anyone tries to flip the old Liu family's table...” Lu Changsheng draws Qin Shi Huang's Tai'a Sword and casually slices a pear. “I'll just put a different emperor on the throne!”