Doomsday Survival: I Conquer the World by Relying on My Golden Finger

Who else gets it?! I wasn’t fazed when the apocalypse hit. It was only when debt collectors’ calls cussed me out until I was at death’s door that I panicked! Then I triggered a ridiculous System, and from then on I coasted through the apocalypse with awkward dancing, trash talk, and instant noodles! Zombies aren’t scary. What’s scary is when they do square dancing and steal my instant noodles. Giant creatures aren’t scary. What’s scary is a cactus yelling insults, a snail faking an accident, and a Siberian tiger chatting away as it breaks up a fight. The survivors are the scary ones: sanctimonious do-gooders, chuunibyou rich kids, and serious engineering nerds. I take them all down with my ridiculous antics! Unlock a shelter for slacking off, where I can watch dramas and snack while dodging danger. Modify an instant-noodle minigun, and one bucket of noodles can blast an entire base away. Recruit a comedic old uncle, a snarky JK, and a musclebound hunk to build a ridiculous alliance. Open a milk tea shop and a carousel at the base, and zombies turn away as soon as they get close, driven off by the joyful atmosphere! While everyone else fights monsters with guns, I ride a snail that fakes accidents, slurp an unlimited supply of instant noodles, and talk my way into roasting the whole world. Even alien civilizations get converted by me, turning Earth into the universe’s comedy preserve! Laughs from beginning to end, with one thrilling moment after another. I can rule the universe while lying around laughing. Whoever wants to hustle through the apocalypse can go ahead: I, Lin Fan, am just here to coast to victory!