A Ten-Thousandfold Rebate for Taking Disciples, and I Lie Flat to Become the Dao Patriarch

Other people pour time and effort into taking disciples. I take them in, and the System does all the work! [Ding! A reincarnated War God has been found, currently getting beaten up by thugs. Hurry and snap him up!] [Ding! A Desolate Ancient Sacred Body has been found, begging on the street. Go adopt him immediately!] [Ding! An Innate Dao Embryo has been detected. The patient has a terminal illness and only three days left. Hurry and spirit them away!] Lin Feng: "System, can you find me some normal disciples for once?" System: [Normal geniuses aren't worthy of the Host's lie-flat Dao.] And so he ended up with: An amnesiac War God (who thinks he's a woodcutter) A cowardly fatso (who is actually an Undying Dao Body) A blind girl (who can destroy the world with her double pupils when she opens her eyes) A chatterbox stone spirit (who asks, "Where did I come from?" every day) While the entire cultivation world was stunned by the monsters filling the Xuantian Sect... Lin Feng was reclining on a rocking chair, eating the immortal fruits his disciples had brought him as tribute. "How many times have I told you? Cultivation takes time." "You break through three major realms in a single day, making it hard for your master to keep up the act... I mean, teach you!" Then one day, an ancient forbidden land opened, and a Demon God awakened. Just as cultivators across the continent despaired... The Xuantian Sect's watchdog yawned, and the Demon God vanished into ashes. The old servant sweeping the grounds stretched, and the laws of heaven and earth were rewritten. Lin Feng rolled over and muttered: "What's all the noise..." "Can't you see I'm lying flat on my way to becoming the Dao Ancestor?"