NBA: Max-Level Handles, Taking on the Whole League

In 2003, the NBA was still a gladiatorial arena for giants, where hard-nosed defense and physical collisions set the tone. That is, until Zhou Jian dropped into New York with a sign-in System. In a league built around smart, efficient play, he was an oddball. His coach roared, “Who told you to nutmeg your man on a fast break? Why not just go for the layup?!” Zhou Jian shrugged. “I can’t. I feel uncomfortable if I don’t nutmeg someone.” To earn the attribute points awarded by the System, he had to turn NBA courts into Rucker Park: Against Ron Artest, he used a “disappearing dribble” to make the tough guy split on the spot; against Kobe, he paid tribute to a classic with a through-the-legs pass and taunted him mercilessly; against Duncan, he hit the Big Fundamental with three consecutive behind-the-back crossovers and left him wearing a meme-worthy expression. The media called him a cancer, and his opponents cursed him as a clown, but he stepped over a court full of shattered ankles and climbed, one step at a time, to the throne. When he raised the O’Brien Trophy, the whole world asked, “Could you stop showing off? We’re running out of ankles!”