Prices Doubled Worldwide, but My Salary Stayed the Same

Overnight, prices across the world doubled. Soy milk at the baozi shop downstairs went from 2 yuan to 4, subway fares rose from 3 yuan to 6, and even the shared power banks outside the office started charging 10 yuan an hour.

Everyone else’s wages rose along with prices, but Zhao Tiechui’s stayed exactly the same: still 3,500 yuan a month.

When he went to buy a jianbing, the vendor asked for 16 yuan. Zhao Tiechui rummaged through his pockets and pulled out 8 yuan. “Boss, my pay hasn’t gone up. Can you make me half a portion?” The vendor promptly splashed batter everywhere, thinking Zhao was there to cause trouble. On his way to work, the taxi meter ticked faster than his heartbeat. When the driver asked for 80 yuan, Zhao slapped his employee badge on the passenger seat. “How about you come back to the office with me and ask my boss for it?”

Even worse, his childhood friend Sun Suan tagged along every day, just to see how miserable Zhao could get, eating and drinking at his expense. In the end, they pooled their money to buy a bottle of mineral water, then split the bill using the price from before everything doubled. A supermarket granny took them for scammers so stingy they’d reached a whole new level and marched them straight to the police station.

Later, Zhao Tiechui discovered that his boss was actually his long-lost great-uncle. But his great-uncle patted him on the shoulder and said, “Tiechui, the company’s going public. Think of your measly salary as your contribution to the family.”

From then on, Zhao Tiechui became the internet’s poster boy for the most miserable wage earner. Even the United Nations sent him a banner naming him a “Pioneer in the Fight Against Inflation.” After all, he’s the only person in the whole universe who can survive doubled prices on 3,500 yuan a month.