I, a Cyber Deity, Clock Out at Five Every Day

I’m Lu Yan, an internet systems administrator who just wants to clock out at five. Now I’ve been forced to inherit my grandmother’s “household guardian spirit” algorithm and become the acting City God of Jiangcheng’s Seventh Neighborhood in the West District. By day I fix bugs; by night I handle prayers. My KPIs are more troublesome than ghosts. The God of Wealth’s algorithm steals my traffic, inspectors from the Celestial Court investigate me for violations, and my followers make all sorts of bizarre wishes: a delivery driver wants to avoid being late, an influencer wants to go viral overnight, and even my transgender neighbor asks me to help her patch the system’s gender bug. And I’m just a wage-slave deity who wants to shut down on time! Then I discover that my incense offerings are being siphoned off, my jurisdiction is close to being shut down, and someone wants to package the “right to make wishes” as an NFT and fleece the public… Well, don’t blame me for flipping the table. I join forces with a land god who delivers takeout, a peach-blossom fairy who livestreams, and a goddess of healing who’s gone on strike to launch the “Anti-Overwork Divine Alliance.” Who says gods have to stand above everyone else? I’m going to build a “human refuge” amid the flood of data. After work, I sip from my thermos and watch my girlfriend, an inspector, secretly revise my report, while my ex, an AI on the dark web, sends me mocking emails and Uncle Chen next door teaches my grandson how to play hopscotch. Honestly, the gods of this generation are all about “keeping it real.” **Cyber deities clock out at five. When the incense runs low, we make up for it with imagination.**