Everyone on the Investiture of the Gods Is a Lunatic

[Investiture of the Gods + wild misunderstandings + unhinged god of mischief + (fake) mastermind]

Lu Ming transmigrates into a chaotic fantasy world and becomes the unlucky village chief of a village about to be slaughtered.

At the brink of despair, he awakens the Investiture of the Gods, which lets him appoint anything as a god!

Overjoyed, he declares, “What a perfect start! I’ll appoint all the heroes of the world as gods and rebuild the divine kingdom!”

But...

He appoints a stone lion as the “Doorway Guardian God.” It devours every demon in sight, then turns around and welds every door in the village shut! Its reasoning: “A home without doors is the safest home!”

He appoints an ancient well as the “River Lord” and asks it to end a drought. It brings rain that pours for three straight months, nearly turning the place into a sea! Its proclamation: “No dry land means no drought!”

He appoints the stove as the “Kitchen God,” but this one spends every day wanting to run away from home: “The world is so big! I want to go set it on fire!”

Lu Ming is horrified to discover that every god he appoints has completely insane logic!

To survive, he has no choice but to act like an inscrutable godly ruler by day and babysit this bunch of lunatics, cleaning up their messes by night.

Yet when he’s frantically trying to mediate a sewage war between the Toilet God and the River Lord, his followers fall to their knees and cry:

“Brilliant! The godly ruler’s actions must be intended to fuse the supreme divine authorities of ‘impurity’ and ‘purity’!”

“Everything is part of the godly ruler’s plan! This is a trial for us!”

Watching the incense offerings surge and his followers regard him with ever greater awe, Lu Ming silently weeps on his divine throne:

“Please stop making things up... I really just want these lunatic gods to settle down!”