The Socially Anxious Professor and Her Wily Puppy

Original Poster:

I'm 29, a teacher at A University, and extremely socially anxious. My mom pushed me into going on a blind date. On the way, I broke my glasses, and with my prescription at minus eight hundred, I was practically blind. Then a handsome younger guy with an incredibly nice voice, as I found out later, tricked me into registering our marriage. I regret it so much! He's only 22! And he's in the sports institute at our university! He calls me “wife” all the time, and now I even hear it in my head during class! If my colleagues and students find out, how am I supposed to show my face around here? Please give me tips on getting a divorce! 😭

1L (First on the gossip scene):

I'll go first! OP, what kind of heavenly luck is this? He's 22, an athlete, sunny and handsome, and he proposed to you! Girl, you've hit the jackpot!

2L (Gotta keep going today):

Agreed with the above. OP, answer this: how many abs does the puppy have? Can he cook? Is he clingy?

Original Poster:

Reply to 2L: Abs... I think he has an eight-pack. Cooking... so good I gained five pounds in a month. Clingy... he wants to stand guard outside the bathroom while I'm in there. But that's not the point! The point is, I feel like some awful person who abducted an innocent young man!

58L (First on the gossip scene):

OP, you haven't been around in ages. What's the update? Did you get divorced?

Original Poster:

[Update] Thanks for asking, everyone. We're not getting divorced for now...