Transformers: A Guide to Adopting Humans

[Original TF Chang'an + original heroine Chang Huanxiao + no romance + family bonds]

On the question of how to adopt and care for their human, Chang'an has a lot to say:

(1) Humans are fragile, so don't handle them roughly.

(2) Humans are social creatures. After adopting one human, there's a chance you'll be given a whole string of humans as a bonus (the blood-related edition).

(3) Once your bond with a human reaches a certain level, there's a chance you'll unlock a "special CG."

(4) Set necessary rules with your human and follow them. (For example, humans aren't allowed to eat strong-smelling food inside the vehicle because machines can't stand it; machines aren't allowed to drive out of the designated area while under human supervision, or they might get a "ticket.")

(5) Under certain circumstances, indulge your human's desire to share and talk things out.

(n) Take good care of the human you chose.

These guidelines can be adjusted depending on the human in question. But please don't change the last one lightly. To Cybertronians, human lives are very short. Give them all the love you can before they become stars.

[Really, it's just a story about a Transformer who arrived on Earth early and accidentally picked up a little human.]

[Set in the live-action universe. The movies made me so mad that I had to write this as a way to vent.]

[Wait, how did the main plot get all messed up?!]

[This is a brainless story! A brainless story! Don't expect it to hold up to scrutiny!!!]