The leaky beams are the rhyme of the first half of my life, and the blue brand is the mark of shame burned into my skin. The night I squeezed into the system, I thought I could finally look up. But the villages and towns along the Lancang River used materials, alcohol and meaningful smiles to immerse me in deeper cold water. When perseverance cannot buy dignity, temptation takes on a soft shape. The card table, the stock market, late-night news... I took all the ropes that were handed to me, but when I climbed, I found that I was becoming what I was most afraid of - the silent beam that was hollowed out by the ants.
