Xie Tian: “I’m the most honest, most civilized, cleanest-playing player in NBA history.”
Jordan: “Bullshit! My ribs still hurt!”
Malone: “You’re talking nonsense! My iron elbow hit him like I’d struck a steel plate, and I’m the one who broke a bone in my hand!”
O'Neal: “Don’t look at me. I’m afraid to go into the paint. That kid knows Brazilian jiu-jitsu!”
Bound to the [Civilized Court System], Xie Tian has a unique understanding of “civilized” play:
As long as he goes for the ball, crippling someone counts as normal contact. As long as the referee doesn’t call it, he’s a paragon of sportsmanship!
He steals superstar attributes through “civilized collisions” and uses his “iron bones” to shrug off all injuries.
He blushes at press conferences and says, “I’m just a technical player,” while sending opponents to the ICU on the court.
Rules are rules, the league's double standards cannot be compromised, and you must play basketball with reasonable actions.
Okay, so interesting