To preserve the imperial bloodline, I exiled my only younger brother and my favorite nephew, two "spoiled young rascals," to the frontier.
But those two little hellions spent money from the treasury on lavish banquets and crushed my prized steed beneath a gilded saddle. The entire court was so furious that the officials submitted memorials every day demanding their execution!
Just as I was getting a headache, an urgent report arrived from the frontier:
"Your Majesty! The Prince of Han and the Prince of the Commandery made military banners out of a hundred thousand bolts of colorful silk, and scared off the Turkic vanguard!"
"Your Majesty! They used a fireworks display as a military signal and accidentally wiped out the enemy’s stronghold!"
"Your Majesty, disaster! The Turkic khagan has tearfully sent a letter of surrender, saying that if the fighting continues, they’ll spend all of Turkic into bankruptcy!"
Looking at the prosperous Tang dynasty they had accidentally spent their way into creating, I fell into deep thought. Could we get another dozen wastrels like them?
