Please Stop Meddling in My Business

As a partner at a top law firm, I live by the principles of efficiency and precision, and avoid all surprises.

That is, until an illustrator with zero life skills moves in downstairs.

She burns cookies in the middle of the night and sets off the fire alarm, forcing me to evacuate. She goes out without her keys, and I have to take her in.

At my wit’s end, I hand her a legal-style “Neighborly Conduct Agreement” demanding she stop disrupting my life.

She blinks. “But last night, when you had a fever, I used a folk remedy to bring it down.”

I look down and see that ridiculous cartoon fever patch still stuck to my forehead.

Worse, I realize I’ve started looking forward to her next “accident.”