Luo Xiaohei: I Picked up a Luye at the Beginning

I'm self-praising [Chigua]. This author's writing is really great, and it suits my appetite so much that I just eat it.

To where I am now, I have to say, it's pretty good. But there are some flaws. First of all, the plot advances too fast, and the whole process is accelerated too unnaturally. Have you used ai? This is totally fine, but you have to be careful that it can't all be the main line. Take now for example, the author almost transformed Luye from an awkward, paranoid, self-exiled little girl into a yandere within 6 chapters, which is really a bit like that. Now that the hero is about to leave, on the whole, at least one chapter or more of memories should be spent to fill in the reasons for his departure. The farewell was too hasty, and the tragic cooling-off period (let's call it that) didn't come naturally enough. You didn't explain carefully whether it was the necessity of the male protagonist leaving or the necessity of the female protagonist falling in love with him. The impression this impact gives me is not enough. You tried your best to make up for the problem of the framework with your writing, but the impact is still not enough. Tragedy is destroying something valuable to others, and tragedy must be the inevitable occurrence of multiple contradictions. You are now destroying the girl's love for everyone to see. If you want to develop it in a tragic direction, you must give the inevitability of the conflict between them. Generally speaking, there are two problems. One is that the conflicts between the various parties in the plot are not depicted enough, making it appear that the tragedy was deliberately arranged by you. The other is that the side stories are insufficient and fail to give readers a breather. My suggestion is that the next chapter can be written about the memories of the male protagonist and Lao Jun, Qing Ning, to highlight the necessity of his sudden and unannounced departure from the female protagonist who has been dependent on him for more than ten years, to lubricate the situation. Overall, it's still a very good work. Among the serialized articles by Luo Xiaohei on this site that have CPs, I would give them the first place. Without CPs, I, a little cook, don't like to read them [shy]

The writing is really good, but just when I saw my senior sister crying and abusing my senior sister, I wanted to give you a one-star review, but the writing was really good, so I will deduct one star! Avenge my senior sister Luye!

Although I am not a liberal arts student, I cannot use many excellent words to describe the goodness of this book, but if I describe it from the perspective of an art student [smirk], the pictures described in the book are very beautiful and made me immersed in it [smile] [smile] [smile] I learned some language arts from a certain teacher, and I would like to add a follow-up comment: The author's articles are not dramatic and bloody plots, but the tenderness, temptation, protection and fulfillment hidden in daily life. Every relationship has its traces, and every move makes people sympathize. After reading this, my heart felt soft and full. This is the most touching story.

It's still very interesting, and a well-written novel about a heroine named Lu who looks like a female protagonist. After all the effort to save the remaining member of the trio, the male protagonist somehow becomes receptive. Luye becomes the leader of the guild's investigation team and directly presses the male protagonist down to talk. It's a bit weird and has no connection. After the strength is gone, he suddenly becomes a vase [crying]

Like! So delicious! Who understands the shyness of the male protagonist? [Shy][shy]

It's unexpectedly good-looking (♥∀♥), but there are too few paragraphs and comments. Are you paying attention? [Rolls eyes] Gan, although this plot is good to watch, it has its ups and downs, which makes me have a headache and feel sorry for Xiaolu [I'm about to cry]

The writing is very good. It's the sweetest Luye fanfic I've read so far.

Overall, it's good. There are many chapters and it's interesting to read. But the reason for the knife is a bit far-fetched. Don't do 4i, I'm scared 🤯 It's too painful bro, maybe this is a female channel

Ah ah ah, hurry up and update, this book is so in line with my taste [love] [love] [love]

Good-looking, love to watch more [shy]

Good, good, good, good

Just watch it, it's so beautiful

Very interesting, the content is very interesting

A relatively good fanfic

So pretty and sweet!

Good-looking, good-looking, good-looking

If it looks good, if it doesn't look good, come to me.

Hey hey hey hey hey hey

Look good, good, good!

Recommend it, it looks good [Admiration]

Good-looking, good-looking, good-looking

Good, the writing is very delicate

Very interesting, good luck to the author [Chigua]

Update it fiercely, otherwise I will tie you up and drive you away from the shelves. Author [laughing evilly]

It's the first time I've been hit. My stomach hurts. I can only feel that the front is too strong.

It's awesome, thank you to the author!

To be honest, I thought it was a double heroine at first. Sorry, I forgot to read the introduction, but the rest is really cool (//∇//)

The author is very good at writing, and I personally feel it is very good.

It's a very good book [Blowing Kiss] The author, please come on ୧꒰•̀ᴗ•́꒱୨