My name is Lin Xuan. I’m a modern-day corporate drudge, and in my spare time I work as a paid online troll. I learned medicine from my grandfather and trained in Bajiquan.
One day, while holding a horse stance, a bird landed on my shoulder and crushed my spine. Then my soul transmigrated to the ninth year of Wude in the Tang dynasty.
Three years later, I got bound to an absurd, downright infuriating System.
My beginner’s gift pack gave me an epic-difficulty mission:
“Infiltrate the imperial palace and obtain one of Princess Changle’s treasures.”
I thought it would be the Imperial Jade Seal, but the System’s navigation led me to the princess’s bedroom.
I thought it would be a martial arts manual, but its flashing arrow pointed straight at the freshly embroidered… mandarin-duck bellyband.
With the System’s “mandatory assistance,” I succeeded in getting my hands on it, and was promptly caught red-handed.
The princess’s shrieks rang through the palace. I became the most humiliating assassin since the founding of the Tang dynasty.
In the imperial prison, I bore the insult “lecher” and claimed my mission reward: “Improved Physical Attributes.”
It feels like… I could punch a cow to death, but what good is that?
Then Li Shimin came to chop me up himself, sword in hand and fury blazing.
I ran. He chased.
From the imperial city all the way to the West Market, for ten whole streets!
In fact, I thought a lot when writing this book. As a newcomer's first book, what I wanted to write was to inject fresh blood into this type of subject matter with a unique absurd temperament. Using a deviant opening to tear open the solemn curtain of the Zhenguan era, I want everyone to get a glimpse of a familiar yet unfamiliar Tang Dynasty. A delicate balance between absurdity and reality. I hope everyone likes this book. If you can move your fingers to get rich, give this book a rating. "Old Book" would be very grateful [seeking attention][seeking attention][seeking attention]