My name is Li Hao, and all I want is to live a quiet, peaceful life in the Primordial World.
But people keep showing up at my godforsaken place and trying to pick a fight.
Ding! [You’ve encountered the future Dao Ancestor, who’s struggling to break a formation.]
Me (in a clone): “If you can’t beat him alone, get a bunch of people to gang up on him.”
Hongjun: “!!!”
The result: The Dao-Demon calamity ends, Hongjun becomes a Sage, and insists on giving me the Thirty-Six Heavenly Dipper Arts.
Ding! [You’ve encountered the future Mother of Humanity, who’s lost about how to attain the Dao.]
Me (offhandedly): “Don’t sit around all the time. Go out for a walk now and then. Playing in the mud is good for your cultivation.”
Nuwa: “!!!”
The result: Nuwa Creates Humans and becomes a Sage, then insists on giving me three fire phoenixes as pets.
Ding! [You’ve encountered Houtu, Mother of the Earth, grieving over the fate of the Wu Clan.]
Me (barbecuing): “You’re doomed? Why not try living differently? Maybe… give all these wandering souls a home?”
Houtu: “!!!”
The result: Houtu transforms into reincarnation and becomes a Sage, and now everyone in the Primordial World is looking for the senior who “enlightened” her.
Watching the Sages search the whole world for me, I glance at the Dragon Clan’s Great Encompassing Golden Immortal and the young master of the Qilin Clan, both of whom I’ve beaten until their faces are swollen and bruised in my courtyard.
I’m at a loss.
“Dao Ancestor, Your Ladyship, please stop coming! My humble shrine can’t take any more of your visits!”
