Football: Shaolin Soccer Is Weak? I’ll Go Fundraise in Europe Instead

Football prodigy Su Chen refuses to give in to a corrupt coach’s demands, so the coach cripples his legs. Su dies with regrets.

One day, he transmigrates into the body of a young novice monk sweeping the grounds at Shaolin Temple, with the Buddhist name Duer.

In this world, Chinese football is weak and derided as “sick man football.”

Just as Su Chen thinks he’ll never set foot on a pitch again, the [Shaolin Kung Fu Football System] awakens.

Its missions are simple and direct: perform Shaolin kung fu in official football matches and stir up the emotions of spectators and opponents to earn [Incense Points]. He can then exchange them for [Superstar Templates], such as Ronaldo’s explosive speed or Zidane’s vision, and all kinds of god-tier skills.

Seeing how dilapidated the temple is, and how they can barely afford incense oil, Su Chen asks the abbot for permission to leave, saying, “I’ll go down the mountain to beg for alms and bring glory to Buddhism.”

Armed with the abbot’s letter of recommendation and a repertoire of incredible skills, Su Chen sets off for Europe.

From his trial at Manchester United’s youth academy onward, his antics completely turn European football on its head.

When a defender launches into a vicious sliding tackle, he counters with [Golden Bell Shield], shattering the man’s leg bones.

When he needs a long-range shot, he launches the ball with a [Mighty Vajra Kick], breaking the sound barrier and tearing through the net.

Against the goalkeeper, he uses the lightness skill [One Reed Crossing the River] to walk through the air, then scores a cheeky header.

The media cries out, “This isn’t football. It’s mystical Eastern magic!”

His opponents howl, “Can somebody tell me how to defend against a monk who can fly?”

The age of Ronaldo and Messi as the two greatest rivals becomes a three-way battle with the arrival of a bald little monk.

When reporters ask him about it, Su Chen simply presses his palms together: “This humble monk is only here to deliver football to the afterlife.”