Five Soul Lamps to Make You Open Your Eyes
On the night of the full moon, as the fifth young woman fell, the girl lying in the center opened her eyes. She saw the man who had gathered five lives just to bring her back.
He walked through pools of blood, warm blood still dripping from his fingertips, and gently caressed her cold face.
“Awake?” he murmured, a feverish, almost crazed love churning in his eyes.
In the distance, five young women in wedding dresses were growing cold.
Her lips parted, but when she saw the almost shattered madness in his eyes, every word froze in her throat. Those eyes, once so gentle, now reflected only her pale face, and the blood-red altar behind her, paved with innocent lives.
He leaned over, his lips close to her ear. Every word bore a bloody brand, his declaration like a curse:
“You’re finally awake!”
It's hard to comment on how to say it. I understand the female protagonist, the Holy Mother, but what the male protagonist, the Holy Mother, is. . . . . The background settings of the characters are pretty good, but the male protagonist is really poorly written.