[Unhinged + no romance + making money + trope subversion + laugh-out-loud comedy]
Bai Suzhen, who had cultivated for a thousand years, was reborn. In her previous life, she was a hopeless romantic. She stole immortal herbs for Xu Xian, flooded Jinshan Temple, and was eventually imprisoned beneath Leifeng Pagoda, while that freeloader shaved his head, became a monk, and attained Buddhahood by stepping over her corpse.
In this life, she stands on the Broken Bridge and sees Xu Xian approaching, hoping to borrow an umbrella. Bai Suzhen pulls out a suona and plays “The Grand Funeral” on the spot, then tearfully collects five taels of silver from Xu Xian as his “farewell fee.”
Xu Xian: “My lady, I was your benefactor in your previous life!” Bai Suzhen: “Your benefactor? Fine. Take these five taels and buy some medicine. We’re even. If you bother me again, I’ll send you to meet the King of Hell.”
Fahai: “Demon, I shall subdue you!” Bai Suzhen: “Master, stop wearing yourself out. Come work for my company instead. We offer full benefits, regular office hours, and double pay at the end of the year. Interested?”
From then on, Hangzhou had one less lovesick snake demon and one more mad, fabulously wealthy Imperial Preceptor who held the reins of government. The emperor stared at the empty treasury and the overflowing account books in Bai Suzhen’s hands, lost in thought...
(The synopsis doesn’t do it justice. Read the story to see how the gloriously unhinged Lady Bai sets the Three Realms to rights!)
Good-looking, good-looking, good-looking