I Became the Brother of a Mary Sue Who Was Betrothed to 108 Nations

[No CP, No Logic, Pure Absurdity + Truly Everyone's Favorite + Invincible Jack Sue + Straight Male Protagonist + A Little Humor + One of the Few Normal People in an Insane World. The System Changed the Tags, Ignore Them]

I'm Long Aoxuan, male, with an aura eight feet tall. My rainbow hair comes with its own scrolling comments, I shed crystal cores when I cry, and my sneezes cause temporal disturbances. But all I want is to laze around.

My little sister has been proposed to by big shots from 108 universes: an immortal cultivator carves love poems at our door, the insect emperor sends her a star-sized diamond, and a domineering CEO hands her a black card loaded with ghost money.

I'm forced to host a "Brother-in-Law Qualifier": back-scrubbing, awkward small talk, and crossing an 800-meter-wide bed while escaping from my sister's frog-themed dream.

I flee to an "ordinary neighborhood," only to find out my neighbors are retired immortals, the property manager is an ancient Mary Sue, and a nuclear bomb of lovesick obsession is buried underground.

Now things are even worse: 999 male big shots have suddenly declared their love for me.

The Sword Emperor disbands his harem for me, the God of Songs turns my sleep-talk into a hit song, the Chaos Demon God is obsessed with the smell of my pickled vegetables, and the very concept of "handsome" wants to merge with me.

They're downstairs settling things with a pickled-vegetable duel.

All I want to ask is:

"Can anyone trade me some properly made pickles for a little peace and quiet today?"

[Guys, this book was written by Mimi. Come read it.]

(Second edit: The author is busy with their third book. This is an absurd comedy, updated whenever possible but not abandoned. Read at your own risk.)