Oh No! Something's Seriously Off About This Tang Sanzang

I transmigrated into Tang Sanzang, carrying the Handbook for Surviving Tribulations with me.

First stop: Double-Fork Ridge.

The tiger demon pulled me aside for a quick meeting. “Elder Tang, you’re supposed to scream here according to the script. Let’s get it in one take. I’ve got a KPI review tonight.”

Second stop: Five Elements Mountain.

Sun Wukong pulled out an employment contract. “Master, I don’t mind wearing the headband, but you have to provide health insurance and a housing fund, and overtime should earn double merit.”

Third stop: Gao Village.

Zhu Bajie was livestreaming. “Don’t go anywhere, folks! As soon as I wrap up this pilgrimage gig, I’ll be back to dance the Tianpeng Disco!”

Me: ???

Is there something a little too weird about this pilgrimage team?

It wasn’t until I flipped to the last page of the handbook that I saw a line of fine print:

“Friendly reminder: All tribulations are designed by Lingshan’s scriptwriting department and livestreamed across the Three Realms. Every expression you make will affect your final rating. Enjoy the show!”

Well, would you look at that. I’m the star of a reality show? But then I discovered:

The White Bone Demon had an Actor Certification, the Yellow Wind Monster was getting workers’ compensation, and Zen Master Wuchao was livestreaming spoilers.

Then I picked up the first shard of a glazed lamp and learned the truth about why I’d been banished five hundred years ago.

Then I heard Guanyin say to the camera, “The Golden Cicada must become a Buddha in this lifetime, even if the truth is...”

I can’t go on with this pilgrimage anymore.

Now I’m traveling with three disciples who’ve been forced to do this gig:

An irritable monkey brother, studying labor law and preparing to file for arbitration;

A slacking pig, livestreaming under the title “What It’s Like to Coast on a Pilgrimage Reality Show”;

And a socially anxious Sha Seng, secretly keeping records of everyone’s dirt.

We’ve decided to play along on the surface…