Avoidant Attachment

This book really touched my heart. Avoidant people always feel that they do not need close relationships, but in fact they are just afraid of getting hurt. The author uses a large number of cases and scientific evidence to tell us: avoidance is not a defect, but a state that can be understood. After reading it, I finally understood why I always flinch in relationships, and I also saw hope for change.

The concept of "safe base" is so important. If you have an avoidant person around you, don't push him, but become a "safe base" that he can rely on. This book is not only a self-help guide, but also a relationship repair manual.

The book's analysis of "parental over-control leading to avoidance" is spot on. My mother always arranged everything for me, but when I grew up, I didn't dare to do anything.

Viewed rationally, most of them are reasonable. 1. It is suspected of generalization. There is no clear distinction between avoidance state, avoidant attachment personality, and avoidant personality disorder, which can easily mislead those who are new to psychology. 2. Some of the examples given are incorrect and too general. 3. People who are new to psychology should watch with caution and don't follow the instructions.

I think this book is a good introduction to some characteristics of the avoidant type. To sum up, if you fall in love with an avoidant type, run away. It is exactly what the book says when you get in touch. This type of person lacks emotional ability. In their view, their partner is at the bottom of the relationship. They can be friends but becoming a lover is not a good choice. I hope everyone can look inward more and become a safe personality.

The points discussed in this book are all classic, and the author knows very well what avoidant types are thinking.

The book mentions that "avoidant people are more likely to be addicted to the Internet." Isn't this just me? The real world is too complex, but the online world is simple and controllable. But now I try to disconnect from the Internet for an hour and slowly return to reality.

This book taught me the importance of self-disclosure. In the past, I always kept my emotions in my heart, but now I will try to express them, even if it is just a simple sentence "I am a little tired today" [sending heartfelt messages].

The book is a good one and I read it often. However, after reading it, I am already afraid of the avoidant type. It is recommended not to fall in love with the avoidant type. I have no obligation to support teaching. If you are avoiding it, you can try to change yourself and take responsibility for your future.

The book's view on "information overload leading to avoidance" is very novel. Modern people are addicted to mobile phones and avoid real communication, which turns out to be a manifestation of lack of attachment. I started to control the time I spend scrolling through my phone.

I particularly like this book. Previously, there was ignorance about anxious or avoidant attachment relationships, and only a general understanding of the dangers of unhealthy attachment relationships. This book not only helped me understand the two characteristics of avoidance and anxiety, but also helped me understand how to get along with such people! We should establish a stable relationship with them, respect their subjectivity, and understand, accept, and empathize with them to help them establish a sense of security. Only when they gain enough sense of security can they open their hearts. This book is a classic and a practical tool! You need to read it carefully and savor it carefully to be a high-quality companion! I haven't finished reading yet, but I'm already benefiting from it. No longer complain about the person around me who is silent, no longer complain about the person around me who cannot see my hard work and dedication. Yes, before the stable and healthy attachment relationship is repaired, they will not be able to empathize with me, and they will even think it is unnecessary. Follow their favorites and find common topics. At the same time, learn to stop talking, make fewer suggestions and suggestions, and help them slowly build up a sense of responsibility. It is very important to protect them with a hundred patience.

It can be regarded as a popular psychology book. I happen to be in a period of anxiety recently. It is still a good choice to understand the root causes of some of my problems.

If you always feel like you "don't need others" but occasionally feel lonely, this book is worth reading. It doesn't teach you how to "become normal," but teaches you how to coexist with your own traits.

"Would you choose to be imprisoned by the results of failure, or gain freedom from it and continue to live? The joy of life lies in the process. If you choose to escape, you will not taste the fruits of life and let them rot. They will rot anyway, so taste them before they rot. What's wrong with that?"

When I read "Avoidant people tend to be dedicated in their careers but clumsy in relationships", I almost felt like the author was peeking into my life. It turns out I'm not the only one like this, I'm not alone anymore.

Through this book, I understand the people around me. In fact, there are still a relatively large number of people in China with avoidant attachment and anxious attachment. Sometimes they don't actually mean it, it's just because their past has led them to become who they are now. I understand that they also have their unspeakable difficulties, and I will no longer hate or resent them.

"Avoidant people tend to be very calm when breaking up." When I see this, it is simply me! Previous partners say I'm heartless, but I just don't know how to express sadness.

I think it's okay, but it's not suitable as a psychological tool book for me. However, you can use the test provided by him to find out what type of person you are and why. The author's perspective is macroscopic, zooming in on the entire human society. At least it tells me that you are not the only one like this. In short, it is rewarding.

This book is very helpful in understanding what type of person you are, but it does not provide enough practical advice. It is difficult to find reliable people to use as a safe base. Relying on yourself means changing, not escaping, facing it bravely, and doing mindfulness meditation to face and accept your own problems. However, avoidant personalities lack the courage to fight. Moreover, the test sheet should be placed at the beginning to allow readers to test which category it is, and then read it with the question type in order to find out which part is targeted at them and should be focused on. After the final test, I still have to start over again.

"Avoidant people don't love, they are afraid of love." This sentence really shocked me. The book mentioned that childhood experiences have a great impact on attachment patterns, which made me reflect on my relationship with my parents. It hurt a little, but it was very enlightening.

This book is really well written. It introduces the avoidant attachment personality in detail, giving people a deeper understanding of the characteristics of this personality. There are plenty of examples below to tell you how to heal yourself and help you get out of the cycle.

As a typically avoidant person, I have always felt suffocated in intimate relationships. This book made me realize for the first time that I am not "apathetic", I just haven't learned how to build a secure attachment. Recommended for anyone who feels like they don't fit in.

The writing is excellent, the arguments are well-founded, and the language is appropriate and gentle. There is a certain literature.

Concise, clear, professional and easy to understand. Everyone needs a secure base and cannot exist in isolation.

A very enlightening book. More and more people in modern society are becoming isolated islands, and more psychological problems have arisen, such as fear of establishing close relationships with others, fear of shouldering other people's expectations, rejection of opportunities, evasive self-protection, etc. The author analyzes the inner psychology of making various decisions by describing the behavior of different individuals, letting us understand that the causes of this avoidant personality disorder are traceable. We can see the root of the problem, face it and introspect, overcome this personality disorder through the correct method, and become a safe person. This is what this book tells us.

This book not only talks about theory, but also gives specific improvement methods. For example, how to identify your own avoidance behavior and how to gradually build trust. I have started to try the "Small Step Exposure Method" in the book, and it seems to be somewhat effective.

As an anxious person, reading this book helped me understand my avoidant partner better. It turns out that it's not that he doesn't love me, he just expresses love in a different way. Now we are all trying to adjust.

If you are always "enthusiastic at first, then cold" in your intimate relationships, this book can help you see the psychological mechanism behind it. You are not fickle, you are just afraid of getting hurt.

When I read that "avoidant people tend to be successful professionally but chaotic in their personal lives," I was totally blown away. I am a strong person at work, but emotionally I am like a child.

If you always "choose a life below your own capabilities," this book can help you break your self-imposed limitations. You are stronger than you think.