Livestreaming a Giant Panda Auction? I’m So Going to Jail!

Li Xuanyu binds himself to the “Benevolence for All Life” System and starts livestreaming himself selling bamboo shoots back in his village. He asks eighty-eight yuan for a single shoot, and the whole internet accuses him of being crazy about money. Then a chubby panda cub wanders into his bamboo grove. It munches happily on bamboo shoots nourished by spiritual spring water, completely absorbed in the feast. The livestream explodes, and even the nature reserve comes knocking. “Sir, about those bamboo shoots… We’ll take them on a monthly contract for 350,000 yuan!” From then on, Li Xuanyu’s livestream takes a whole new turn. The panda refuses to leave, and wild boars come down the mountain to root up his fields. He responds by giving them a “Wisdom Powder” so they can learn to be proper beasts. The wild jujubes he casually picks are hailed by a master chef as “the finest delicacy on earth,” and even a heat-stricken bamboo rat has to obediently hop onto the grill. The whole village joins in to open farm stays, and he sets himself a modest goal: make a billion first! Viewers: “Is this a rural livestream, or a cheat-code life?”