“Hello, 911? I need to report something.”
“Go ahead.”
“I found a Ten-Thousand-Soul Banner. It says that if I don’t give it souls, it’ll drain me dry… Please send someone quickly. I can barely keep it under control!”
…
Spiritual qi revival. The supernatural descended, and panic swept the globe.
While the West was still struggling to exorcise demons with holy water and Japanese onmyoji were being chased through the streets by ghosts,
Lin Chen, special adviser to China’s Ninth Bureau, was holding a little flag wreathed in black smoke and putting a newly captured S-rank evil spirit through “orientation.”
“Once you’re inside my banner, you’re a ghost in service of the nation. Follow the rules, work hard, and strive to earn an early chance at reincarnation.”
“You there, stop slacking! Is the undersea cable repaired? Have you finished processing the nuclear waste?”
The evil spirit looked at the seniors inside the banner, who were operating sewing machines, repairing dams, and even reciting the Criminal Law, and wept tears of regret.
Then came the day when the Outer Gods invaded, mocking China for having no gods.
Lin Chen stood above the nation’s borders and unfurled the great banner.
In that instant, the black mist dispersed and golden light filled the sky.
A hundred thousand heroic spirits roared as one, with the fortune of all China backing them!
“What Ten-Thousand-Soul Banner? Open your eyes and look properly! This is the Human Emperor’s Banner, guardian of China’s mountains and rivers!”
It looks good, but updates have been stopped.