I transmigrated into a xianxia novel as the vicious female side character who dies the most gruesome death, and immediately got bound to a "Positive Energy Roast System."
The System requires me to deliver a hundred sarcastic jabs at the protagonist's crew every day, or I'll have to stand on my head and have explosive diarrhea on the spot.
So when I saw the aloof Immortal Venerable, I opened my mouth and sang, "Bro, you smell like her perfume. One sniff tells me it's cheaper than mine."
When I caught the Demon Venerable kidnapping the heroine, I slapped my thigh and roared with laughter. "You even tied her up with a pink bow. Are you secretly in love with him and trying to set the mood?"
Later, the Immortal Venerable went berserk, grabbed me by the collar, and asked with bloodshot eyes, "Do you even have a heart?"
In front of the whole sect, I pulled out my heart and lung CT report. "I do, but not much. It's mostly bamboo shoots."
Just as I was scraping by with my outrageous antics all the way to the ending, the System suddenly shrieked, "Warning! The plot has collapsed! They all want to become your cultivation partners!"
