Let me give you the bottom line first: I, Lin Fan, a hardcore apocalypse hoarder, was reborn, but not completely.
The good news: I became a god.
The bad news: only in the eyes of a colony of ants.
Even worse, they listen to everything I say, but they don’t understand a thing!
Scenario one: I want to find some pesticide to poison the ladybugs, their natural enemy.
Me: “Danger! Poison! It can kill anything!”
The queen ant excitedly announces that it’s “Nine Nether Demonic Soil,” capable of tempering the body, then orders the soldier ants to line up and lick it.
Queen Ant: “Lord Shenfan is truly merciful, using this divine treasure to test our people and select the strongest!”
Scenario two: I find some soapy water and want everyone to bathe and keep clean.
Me: “Dirty! Wash! Clean!”
The entire colony bathes in “Tears of the Gods,” becoming sleek and shiny. They even become immune to parasites by accident.
Elder: “The divine oracle is profound! Only by cleansing the mortal world can we bear the Great Dao!”
Scenario three: I dig a hole to build a toilet and separate the wet waste from the dry.
Me: “Dig! Here! Mine!”
The entire colony works overtime in tears, building a sprawling, hundred-meter-long “Grand Formation of Protection” around my toilet hole.
Soldier Ant Captain: “My lord is never arrogant about his achievements. He has already begun laying the foundation for our people’s next ten thousand years!”
Me, thinking to myself: “…I’m tired. Let’s just destroy everything already.” Amid their love and wild overactive imaginations, he is forced onto an absurd path to rise to power and become a god by doing nothing. He only wants to stay alive, but the entire colony kneels and begs him to lead them to ascension!
